Queen Inspiration and Empowerment

Cassandra McCray

"Lemon Cookies Aren't Holy"

Lemon cookies use to be one of my favorite snacks as a child. I would get them by the handfuls, just as many as my little palm could hold. I remember one summer my mother’s aunt came to visit us and she had to have been the cookie patrol. I still remember that moment, when I reached deep into the cookie jar and came out with that handful. There she stood waiting for me; as I turned around, she told me, “Don’t stop until you eat every one of them.” Yes, I was excited to get to keep my hand full of cookies but when she told me, “Eat every one of them that’s left in the jar!” my heart skipped a beat. As I began to take on this lemon cookie challenge, the more I ate, the more I hated lemon cookies. For those that’s wondering, no I didn’t complete the lemon cookie challenge. This was a moment that changed how I felt about eating any sweets. I confess I still do not eat lemon cookies to this day.

So many times, we take on life challenges and many of us regret them long term. Although, this commentary is about being single and saved; I want you to understand that just like those lemon cookies, it’s a choice to be celibate while serving Christ. I will not tell you this journey has been easy, but I will tell you it was a choice that I made to set myself apart from all the foolish things, thoughts and actions I have voluntarily and some involuntarily participated in. The Word has given us a freewill to make decisions to be holy, sanctified and a peculiar treasure. Once I realized who I was in God’s sight and the likeness of Him; I had to take the time to analyze myself. After two (2) failed marriages, a few relationships that never made it past the three (3) month mark nor the seven (7) year “itch”. I knew it had to be something I immediately had to do.

Most of my life, was lived in trauma from sexual abuse as child, raped as a teenager to becoming a teenage mother. That still didn’t make me withdraw from longing and desiring what and who I wanted whenever even if he was married. I chose that lifestyle for nearly 30 years; but I knew I was more than what I was allowing others the privy to enjoy. I had reached a moment that was familiar to me, “the lemon cookies”. I no longer felt desirable and began to allow the enemy to make me think I was not beautiful and that I would always be the second choice. Once I had reached my hand in that cookie jar for that last attempt to eat another cookie was just like that moment, I decided the next touch, thought or desire of mine would be holy and worthy.

When I first answered the call of God, I began studying the Apostle Paul. Many knew that he had a supernatural transformation on the road to Damascus. Paul wrote 66% of the New Testament, developed leaders in the churches, and helped set standards on Christian conduct. But what very few people do not know about Paul was that he chose celibacy. According to 1St Corinthians 7:7 (NKJV), Paul says, “For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.” Paul was referencing singleness for both men and women (vv. 1-6). I love the Message Bible translation of this verse, “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me--- a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone anymore than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.” Self-Control is one of the “Fruits of the Spirit”, Galatians 5:22-25 (NKJV) says “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passion and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”

After becoming aware of just how uniquely God made us (women) and we are His workmanship, how could I any longer just keep putting my hands into that cookie jar? My revelation after I read Galatians 5, was that this was what I would accept from the man that God sends to seek me as his wife. He will love me as his wife that God ordained; we will live with joy, peace, yet longsuffering is a part of it, together though. We both will commit to faithfulness to one another, displaying gentleness in all areas of our lives and above all maintaining self-control from pride, sexual desires and needs. God will send me the desires of my heart and until such times, I will not eat another lemon cookie.